Marriage Speech

 

A couple of months ago, after we’d decided to have this dinner here for our wedding, Fiona and I called in to check a few things out. The idea was to measure up the tables, see how many people we could fit in, check where the mirror ball was going to go, that sort of thing. And I stood up the front here trying to imagine the hall full of the literati and the akerati, and the farmerati, and the rest of you who are just plain arty. Well anyway, I imagined myself talking to this hall full of people and then got in the car and went straight home and started sending out invitations to a barbecue at Otanerito. But we changed our minds, even before we’d quite sent all the invites out and I’m glad we did… Actually I’ve found it incredibly reassuring, the number of people here who’ve shared with me their dread of public speaking. It’s been really helpful. In fact I’ve made a list of those people, and I thought it would be quite fun… No, it’s actually wonderful to have you all here and we’d both like to thank you all for coming, we really appreciate it, it’s just great to have so many of our friends here tonight. And thank you to all of you who’ve helped put this evening together for us. For us, tonight is both about getting married but because we’ve been living together so long it’s also a kind of anniversary, and it would be very easy for me to go right round these tables and thank everyone specifically, but I don’t think there’s time and we didn’t want this evening to be full of speeches. But there are just a few people we’d like to mention by name. And Fiona and I are going to split it up a bit, but the thanks are from us both whichever says it.

The first two people aren’t here. It’s always a bit strange to thank people who aren’t here, but I would just like to mention my parents because I know their thoughts are with us, and they would have liked to be here. And another reason to say thank you to them is that we’d all be eating fish and chips if they hadn’t helped us put this dinner on. When they heard that we were going to visit them this winter and go walking in the Pyrenees they sent us an early wedding present - I think they wanted to make sure this really happened. I originally told them it would be last winter, so they knew slippage was very possible. So their financial support is much appreciated, but probably more important has been their unconditional emotional support over these years. They’ve been very generous to both of us over the years. So my first thank you is to my parents, George and Beth.

Number two. It’s number two because there are two of them. Years ago, when I was still quite young the government got into the advice business. And trying to find a way to get the message out, they chose plastic bags to print it on, I guess they figured everyone came into contact with plastic bags. And the advice said simply “Keep away from small children”. Well, I’ve always done that, but it does have some drawbacks. So when I met Fiona and found her two daughters were already fifteen and nineteen I thought hooray. Being part of their family has been a wonderful experience. I’d really like to thank them for, first of all, their acceptance. That was crucial (many a good man foundered on that rock I suspect), and not an easy thing for children to do, I’m sure it shouldn’t be underestimated but they were really nice to me. And I’d also like to say how much I admire them for their take on the world, their sense of adventure and their sense of fun and their sense that doing the right thing is also important. I’m so glad they were able, just, to be with us today and it’s good to see Steve here as well. I’d especially like to thank them for their readings and for being our witnesses today, so my second thank you is to Susannah and Ursula.

My next one’s rather more general. It’s to neighbours, which also includes my business partners in the Track. My first experience of the outer bays of the Peninsula was at Stony Bay with Mark and Soni, and I also returned there a few years later when I needed somewhere to hole up and think a few things out. They were just wonderful and told me a lot about the place. It was Soni who explained to me the basic social structure of the outer bays which was at the end of every gravel road there’s a guy happy as Larry in a shed and a woman going slightly mad on a telephone. That was absolutely invaluable. It’s pretty well all you need to know. But the truth is that in the outer bays good neighbours are invaluable and to be treasured, and we are just so lucky with ours, starting at our front gate and going out from there. They are a great bunch of people, incredibly diverse, very talented. I’d say you could write a book about our valley if it hadn’t been done so often. If anyone had any trouble grasping it as a kid, our valley has got more knowledge about the birds and the bees and what they get up to than you can possibly imagine. And when it comes to the Track, well I’ve only ever really had one career ambition which was to make a living in the country, and the Track has allowed me to not only live in the country but in one of the most beautiful places, so I’d like to thank all my partners who let me be part of their idea. So my third thank you is to all our neighbours and partners in the outer bays.

Finally. Twelve years ago when I met her she was 45, had red hair, stood 5ft 6 inches in her socks, and often noticed when I asked her a question. Well, for the moment anyway, she’s still the same height. No, actually I feel very lucky. Fiona’s one of those rare people who knows what she wants but whose mind is never closed off to all the other possibilities. She’s the only person I know who can say, “I’ll just pop into the shop and get an avocado. And you wait and you wait and she finally emerges, with an avocado. Well, I just feel very lucky today to be the avocado. I think the marriage ceremony took care of most of what I wanted to say, but I do want to thank Fiona, both for today, and for the last ten years. We’ve been a lot of places, met a lot of people, enjoyed a lot of walks together, and a lot of quiet time together. It’s been the happiest ten years of my life, and I look forward to sharing many more together. I was trying to think of an anecdote to end with but Fiona’s a bit too good at telling stories and I don’t think there’s a good one that most of you haven’t heard. So I thought, seeing as we’d met at a poetry reading I’d end with a poem.

You’ll be pleased we didn’t meet at a lecture on the municipal sewerage system. I’ll just say a bit about it. It was at the Gallery here in Akaroa the week before the big snow. Patsy had invited out the Canterbury poets for the first time for ages, and I went along and met Fiona there, and it made quite an impression on me. Well when I was struggling a bit to know what to say tonight, I was looking back through all my scrawls from that time and came across the poem I wrote a few days after meeting her. As far as I recall I’ve never shown it to her or anyone else, and I thought maybe it would do. It isn’t easy after ten years to come up with something new so I thought maybe I’d just go back to the beginning.
So I’ll end with this poem, set in the Gallery. It’s called ‘After the Reading’.

I smile as you wave, leaving the hall
I smile at the paintings on the wall
I stack the chairs, gather the flowers
Move back the piano unneeded for hours
You wore a scarf tied through red hair
And yours are the poems that still hang in the air
In the Gallery, in Akaroa, in August ’92
And I’m still smiling, because I met you.

Thank you all very much for coming, and will you please join me in a toast to Fiona.